Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

October 09, 2005 - 10:23 p.m.

Getting Older, Getting Wiser?

I had a moment on my birthday that made me realize I am solidly in my late 20s now. I had a hankering for a mudslide (a tasty, potent concoction of vodka, Bailey's, and Kahlua). This was a frequent drink when I lived with Laura and Christine in California. I went into a liquor store and walked out with the smallest bottles of Bailey's and Kahula I could buy. There was a time in my life where only the largest bottles would do.

VH1 ran a series of shows last week along the lines of "Great Reasons to be..." One of them was Great Reasons to be 30. I fit into a lot of the categories already, and I'm only 27. I'm in a committed relationship, I bought a house, I rarely go out partying... There's a bit of wistfulness for my "youth", but I'm really happy with where my life is.

I've been thinking a lot about my life in California. I had some really amazing experiences during that time, but I also had some truly terrible experiences. I just spent about an hour going through my old Diaryland entries to see if I had ever written about the asshole Seth breaking my heart. It appears that I didn't, so here goes. Maybe if I write it down, I can forget about it forever.

I was in a bad place in late 2000, early 2001. I was living alone and school was going horribly. I was pretty depressed. Then I met this guy, Seth. He was charismatic, and for some reason, I found him attractive. He and I started spending a lot of time together, and he suggested that I move into his house (along with 6 other people) to save money. One night, he sat me down and told me a bunch of stuff about how he really cared about me, but he just had to be himself. We were drunk and stoned, and I really didn't know what he was talking about. Then I found out. He had invited this woman over that I had introduced him to a few days before. They disappeared into his room, and she never really left. A week later, they announced they were getting married. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I always had a hard time showing people that I was into them, and for once, I felt like I had done a pretty good job of it. I garnered a lot of sympathy from my friends, for they saw Seth's behavior as being ridiculous and highly disrespectful.

I want to say that I'm over it, but part of me wants to see Seth suffer. I have heard nothing from him in over 3 years because he and his bride moved off to Vermont a few months after they got married. The last phone call we had, he was drunk and said I could slap him the next time I saw him. I haven't had that opportunity, nor have I heard any news from them. I went searching on Google for them, to no avail. I did search Friendster, and I may have located the wife, under her maiden name, and showing her location as Seattle, her hometown. I sent her an email, hoping that I'm right and that she'll email me back. Does this indicate a split? I may show my vindictive side here, but nothing would make me happier than hearing that their marriage failed. I have to thank her, though. I might have ended up with that loser Seth, only to be poor and miserable, I'm sure.

Which brings me back to my original point. I may not be the party animal that I once was, but I'm happy with where I am in life, a little older and a lot wiser.

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!