December 07, 2006 - 9:33 a.m.
The Annual Punch in the Gut
So it happened again this morning. I was trying to deal with the stress of the pool project, sat down to look at the local paper online, and was punched in the gut. Pearl Harbor Day.
To most people of my generation, this doesn't really mean anything. Unfortunately for me, the day that will live in infamy also marks a much more personal tragedy in my life. Eighteen years ago today, my mother died. I was only 10 years old.
That 18 year time span comes with both pros and cons. After 18 years, the grief doesn't rear its head very often. However, when I'm blindsided by the date, it can get pretty rough inside my head. Eighteen years means I don't remember her very well at all. Beyond photographs, I don't have really anything to help remember her by. A 10 year old's perception of her mother is very different from a 28 year old's perception of her mother, but I will never get to have those 18 years of maturity to change our relationship. She is always just Mommy, not really a fully flesh-out woman in my mind.
Most of the year, I do not dwell on my loss, and I had actually hoped that I would miss her death anniversary this year. Damn the slow news day that put the Pearl Harbor memorial on the front page of the paper!
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