December 08, 2003 - 6:20 a.m.
A Miserable Night
It's 6:20 in the morning, and I haven't been able to sleep. Everything was fine all evening. As soon as the lights were out and I was ready to sleep, I started crying. I haven't been able to stop since then, and that was several hours ago.
Part of it could be that yesterday marked 15 years since my mother died. I was too busy yesterday to think much about it, but now, it keeps making me blubber. Rob woke up to me crying, and I didn't feel comfortable talking about it or having him see me cry. This is ridiculous and illogical, but my thoughts were only confirmed by his half-awake comments. "I thought you were masturbating" is not what I want to hear when I can barely breathe because of all the snot accumulated in my nose.
While writing this, my tears have subsided. I don't want to go back to bed, though, because it will start all over again. I'm going to study for my history final, I guess. Anything to keep my mind away from anything tear-inducing.
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