2003-03-09 - 6:52 p.m.
I am so chicken shit.
I was invited to a casual porch gathering this afternoon by some of our new friends, and I couldn't bring myself to go. I even drove by, saw them hanging out, and panicked. My stomach started churning, I started feeling hot, and my vision swam a little bit. Then I felt pathetic, but I still didn't go.
Part of the problem is that my roommate was working. I don't have the guts that she has. She used to go out to bars by herself when I was too scared to even attempt to make friends. Here I've already met these people, I get invited to a little party, and I choke. My stomach is churning right now, just thinking about it.
I can come up with a million excuses why I didn't go, but it all boils down to fear. I'm going to go soothe my scared psyche by making some wonton soup. At least I'll eat well this week even if I just blew a good opportunity to get to know these people better. Boy do I suck.
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