2003-03-01 - 6:21 p.m.
When I tell people I want to be a librarian, most of the time the response is "That's cool." Sometimes people try to probe further into my psyche and ask the dreaded question "Why?" I suppose I owe it to myself to try to figure that answer out.
After many aborted career paths, I ended up working for a secondary steel company out in California. I was the assistant to the president, and although I tried to come up with daily challenges, I was mostly bored. (Actually, I discovered Diaryland during some office internet surfing in the early days of that job.) One morning as I was staring at the ceiling trying to decide if I really wanted to get up, the thought came to me like a slap upside the head. Of COURSE I should be a librarian! I have no desire to specialize in any one subject (tried and failed with international relations in college), and I love the act of research. Also, being literate is one of the greatest gifts I possess, so wouldn't it be cool if I could help others find a passion for reading? It seemed perfect.
What is strange about this situation, though, is I haven't advanced much further than the decision making stage. I had that early morning epiphany in August 2001. I took some community college courses that really did nothing for me. I moved to another city, taking my sweet time to get here. I wasted a lot of time. Granted, I am finally employed in a library, and I'm hoping that a position opens up soon for the next step up, Assistant Librarian. If it doesn't, will I just go along shelving books and dealing with the law office indefinitely?
Truthfully, I think I'm scared to actually make a commitment to a career. I don't want to get into a job where I only get one day off for Christmas or half a week of vacation until I get more seniority. School has spoiled me. When my previous jobs have interfered with my travel plans, I just quit them. I think I need to do a bit more pondering on this whole career question.
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