September 25, 2003 - 8:47 a.m.
A Pivotal Evening
I just re-read my last diary entry. Well, it's time to stress about this thing with Rob being a relationship. We had our second date last night. Again, he didn't leave until about 4:30 in the morning. We spent most of the time talking.
We finally got around to talking about where this might be going. Both of us concurred that we're pretty crazy about each other but we're terrified of it. When I finally decided I should get to bed, we smoked a last cigarette, and he announced arrival of the awkward moment.
Sure enough, when he talked about needing permission for some things, he was talking about kissing me. Even when we were a few feet apart as we talked, it was going to be my job to bridge the chasm and take our relationship to the next level. Since we had only had accidental contact over the three nights we'd spent time together, a hug was a good place to start. I pulled back, and there were several seconds where we just stood there. It was in that time that I decided, despite how reason is telling me this might be a bad idea, to go ahead and kiss him.
By the end of it, I was vibrating. I haven't felt emotions that intense in a very long time. I wasn't able to sleep. I still haven't been to sleep. I've decided to skip my class this afternoon because at some point, I'll need sleep. I'm seeing him again tonight, and I'd rather not pass out in the middle of the evening.
I'm still terrified, but I'm also really happy.
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