June 20, 2004 - 3:36 a.m.
Insomnia
One problem with not taking summer classes is I have too little structure to my life right now. Rob has been working long days, so he's not around to keep my schedule regular. If I want to take a nap at 10:00 AM, I do. If I want to take another one at 4:00 PM, I do. When I try to go to bed at midnight, I can't. It's going on 4:00 AM, and I still feel far from sleep.
I'm frustrated with myself right now. I'm not doing much of anything - nothing productive nor anything fun. This past week, I went shopping twice, and I think those are the only times I left my house. At least I'm saving money on gas, right? I can't even seem to get the house in order either. I'm far more involved in the Days of Our Lives plots than my own life, and it depresses me. Being up by myself in the middle of the night doesn't help. It just reminds me of the bad old days when I was depressed and truly an insomniac, rather than off-kilter for a few days.
What's up with these reality shows requiring people to do gross, scary or stupid things? I'm watching E, and there's some show called Scream Play. The preview for the next episode showed people searching through a dumpster full of real trash for fake body parts. This disturbs me.
Another thing that disturbs me is the late-night attorney advertisements. Considering my history with personal injury attorneys, the ads just make my skin crawl, especially when it's an ad for my former employer. The ads only seem to play during soaps and late at night, which depresses me even more to see them.
Once I stop seeing personal injury attorney ads, my life will be better. Perhaps I should stop turning on the television.
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